Down With The Gossip; Girl
Posted: Aug 14 2017
Many times I’ve pondered over this quote by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie:
“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful…We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men.”
Recently, I’ve considered how this has in fact been present in my own life. There have been many instances where a female has mentioned being scorned, put down, or stabbed in the back by another woman. Looking back, I can see that I’ve also encountered these gloomy or downright vicious individuals as well. I continue to wonder, why do we do this to each other?
Deep down is it truly for the attention of men? Is it a natural instinct, or has society taught us to behave this way?
I can remember growing up, and often times preferring the simple friendship of boys over girls during childhood. Boys were so transparent - they would tell you their thoughts right to your face, and move on to the next game of dodgeball. Girls would say one thing, mean another, and act out on a third. Of course, this is not to say that the opposite can’t be true, or that this is the case regarding all men and women, but it has been a common occurrence based on my own experiences.
In recent years, I have been fortunate to tighten my circle and to become acquainted with far more positive, confident, and driven women than ever before. I still wonder, how is it so common to find women gossiping over other women - how she looks, what she wore, that thing she said? If only the gossip was positive. I’m all for cheering each other on and spreading kind words, but all too often this is not what I hear. I’m not sure why we’re so hard on each other, although I do wish we would stop. How can we expect to progress and grow as female leaders in society if we continue to tear each other down, instead of pull each other up?
I’ve made it a personal mission to improve myself in this regard and get to know more outstanding women - women who speak well of others and help their fellow sisters to get ahead in this world. Who knows; maybe we can cause a ripple effect, teach our daughters to be kind to one another. Then we’ll know that when it comes down to it, women will go to war for one another instead of against one another.